Friday, December 04, 2020

Granny Rose

I’ve learned recently that end of life care includes the phrase “no heroic measures.” And I understand what the term means, but to me, it seems all wrong. After all, Rose’s final days, as with so many of her other days, were filled with heroism. She faced this last test with the grace, good humour, and quiet strength familiar to all who knew her. 


Throughout her long life, Rose suffered unimaginable hardship and tragedy. Yet, she did not grow embittered or hard, as so many others would have. Instead, she embraced the world with love and laughter – as if her heart had expanded to fill in and heal the places where it had been broken.

I feel so lucky to have witnessed Rose’s spirit and zest for life on those happy occasions when we would visit her, or she us. In those moments, our family felt complete. She brought us so much joy with her energy and eagerness to join every conversation, event, game, and outing. And over the last few years, she amazed us by laughing at every joke, despite being hard of hearing and dancing at every simcha, despite being barely able to walk. Rose performed miracles through her sheer determination to maximize every moment of delight that she could find.

Perhaps the highlight of our time together was getting to observe the absolutely overflowing love she had for my Dad – it seemed to radiate out of every inch of her. And in her presence, it felt as though the depths of my Dad’s being were revealed. There is so much of Rose in his gentle manner, kind soul, and sense of humour that is somehow both ever-present, yet also surprising. 

Indeed, Rose always made me laugh when I least expected it. Once, after watching my Dad kill a fly with a rolled-up newspaper, Rose grabbed my arm in mock horror and wailed, “My son’s a MURDERER!” And just a few weeks ago, she told me that she liked when Glenda, her carer, took her outside for fresh air because otherwise she would get “too stale.”  


The courage to love deeply through despair, to dance through pain, to laugh often and much, and to suffer with grace – heroic measures, every one. 

Rose was a wonder of a person and though we will miss her dearly, we are blessed with her example that the truest way to honour the dark times is by rejoicing in the light. 

And as we mourn the loss of her, there is comfort in knowing that she is now reunited with the many departed loved ones who have been waiting patiently for her on the other side.  


Friday, September 25, 2020

Granny Pat

I’ve always had trouble describing Pat to other people. I think it’s because I’ve never met anyone else quite like her. I’ve never met anyone else so absolutely stubborn, but always in the service of others. If there was something Pat could do for you, she would do it no matter what. She would spend hours on a three course meal for Friday night. She would fly across the continent for a family wedding. She would devote months to perfecting a painting for her great-granddaughters. I don’t think a selfish thought ever crossed her mind. I don’t think she actually knew how to have a selfish thought. 

But what she did know, of course, was how to make people feel loved. Because to Pat, love was in the little things. There was no gesture or moment ever too small for her to let go by. Whether it was a second helping before you asked, a phone call on a special day, or a saved crossword puzzle - she never overlooked any opportunity to demonstrate that you were on her mind and in her heart. She made you feel like the centre of her universe. 

To Pat, family was everything and she was so deeply a part of us it’s hard to imagine life without her. But she has left a lasting imprint in so many ways. I see her in the kindness of my mother. I see her in the resilience of my siblings. I see her in the strength of my uncles and the bonds of my cousins. I see her in the spirit of my nieces.  

Over the last few years, Pat told me many times that she thought the world was broken and she hoped to live long enough to see it fixed. We know that she didn’t. But perhaps we could come a little closer to healing it if we all were stubborn in the service of others. If we all remembered that love is in the little things. If we didn’t miss any opportunity to make someone else feel like the centre of our universe.


Please consider donating to the Rally 2020 for North York General Hospital 

 


Wednesday, April 08, 2020

The Pandemic Haggadah

1. Cleaning the House of Chametz
We’ve all been cleaning anyway. This should be easy.

2. First Cup of Wine
Congrats to those who still have wine in their homes.

3. Wash Your Hands
This is what we’ve been training for! 

4. Karpas
Dip your vegetables in saltwater to disinfect.

5. The Four Questions
How is this night different from all the other nights? IS THAT A JOKE?!

6. The Four Sons
If these children have two parents present, they are illegally gathering in a group of six.

7. The 10 Plagues
The 2020 Bingo list.

8. Dayenu
God, it’s enough already! 

9. Pesach
Smear Purell on the doorway.

10. Matzah
Crackers are a great apocalypse snack option.

11. Marror
A preview of when all that’s left in the pantry is herbs.

12. Second Cup of Wine
Lean to the left, toward a robust social safety net. 

13. Wash Your Hands
Once is not enough!

14. Charoses
Throw everything left in your kitchen in a bowl and add cinnamon.

15. Korech
Throw everything left in your kitchen in a bowl and add cinnamon and make a sandwich.

16. Dinner!
Who among us still has eggs?!?

17. Afikoman
Only hide it in/on previously sterilized surfaces.

18. Third Cup of Wine
Time to start fermenting grape juice in the bathtub.

19. Elijah
Check his temperature at the door. 

20. Fourth Cup of Wine
Only two less than the daily average.

21. Next Year in Jerusalem!
Or literally anywhere outside of our homes.