Tuesday, December 03, 2013

UPDATED: The Best Unintentionally Awkward Moments in Musical Theatre History

I will add to this list as more occur to me. But for now, bask in the following unnecessary awkwardness that has graced the Broadway stage. 

Look What You've Done - 1:23
Father: Sir, if I might suggest -
Charles S. Whitman: WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?
Father: .............you sent for me.
Why does Whitman freak out like that? He literally loses it completely and then it is never mentioned again. So awkward and unnecessary.

Les Miserables 
Plummet Attack - 0:31
Thernardier: Who is this hussy?
Babet: It's your brat Eponine. Don't you know your own kid?
Dude just called his own daughter a slut. He literally didn't recognize her from two feet away. 

Upon these Stones (at the Barricade) - 1:47
Army Officer: You at the barricade listen to this! No one is coming to help you to fight. You're on your own. You have no friends. Give up your guns or die!
You have no friends? So harsh. 

Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat
Prologue - 0:08
Narrator: Some folks dream of the wonders they'll do before their time on this planet is through. Some just don't have anything planned. They hide their hopes and their heads in the sand. Now I don't say who is wrong, who is right, but if by chance you are here for the night, then all I need is an hour or two to tell the tale of a dreamer like you. We all dream a lot - some are lucky, some are not.
This lady builds you up just to bring you back down again. These vague proclamations are such a weird way to start the show. It then leads into Any Dream Will Do and don't even get me STARTED on that - what is that song even about?? The whole thing is a bit of a head-scratcher. 

Pharaoh Story - 0:46
Narrator and Chorus: When Pharaoh's around, then you get down on the ground.
Narrator: If you ever find yourself near Ramases, get down on your knees. 

13!: The Musical
Getting Ready - 2:16
Kendra: If he does it and I let him -
Lucy: You're a slut.
Kendra: Right.
Right? RIGHT?? Listen to the finality of this line delivery, too. Also keeping in mind, of course, that these kids are thirteen.  

Goodbye Love - 2:04
Mark: I hear there are great restaurants out west.
Roger: Some of the best. How could she?
Ok, Roger, I get that you are upset over Mimi, but why the crazy non-sequitur? Mark's making polite conversation, maybe go with it for more than a second? 

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